Teach Me Read online

  “Yes,” he says. “Harder.”

  I hit him again and again and he keeps demanding I hit him harder. I’m dripping onto the floor I am so fucking wet, but he just wants me to whip him. Finally, I can’t take it anymore and I get on top of him. My pussy is like a fucking ocean and it slips over him so easily. He pushes up again, straight into me, and I ride him hard. It’s so different than with Mark, since Mark was sweet and I was in charge, but not in this way. Lucas is rough and I can’t be aggressive enough. I reach down for the strap and smack his thighs while I ride him. He strains against his bonds, but doesn’t break free. At least not at first. Suddenly, though, he growls loudly and breaks the fucking rope. He’s like a fucking monster and he doesn’t even pull out before he flips us both over. I’m under him and he starts thrusting hard, stretching me wide around his giant monster cock.

  “Baby, I love your pussy so fucking much,” he says.

  “It loves you,” I tell him.

  He lifts my legs up so I am basically folded in half and fucks me hard. He still has the butt plug in his ass, but he’s not even in the moment. I wish for once I could fuck Lucas while he was all here, but the thought is erased by the wildest fucking orgasm I have ever had. All of my moral superiority fades when Lucas fucks me. His cock reaches all the way to the end of me and I scream his name louder than ever. Someone probably thinks he’s murdering me since I am crying his name like he is. But it’s so fucking good and I can’t stop coming.

  He laughs as he fucks me nonstop while I orgasm. I lose total control and Lucas drills me. I don’t even know my name by the time he matches me and comes, pulling out and releasing it all over my clothes. I didn’t even bother to fucking undress.

  “So you want dinner?” I ask and he laughs.

  “Yeah. Pussy.” And he’s between my legs. Lucas is a fucking animal. It’s only the next day when I wake up that I realize he never took care of the video.

  ****

  Kade, however, does come through. There are three copies, but Trina got them all. I don’t know what their barter was and I probably don’t want to know. He’s an ass but I have to thank him for this. Of course, I didn’t even talk to Lucas and now he’s out of town for a week.

  “I’ll definitely talk to him when he comes back,” I tell Kade.

  He stares at me. “What about in the meantime?”

  “Kade, please don’t ask me to fuck you,” I beg. “I’m fucking tired.”

  He laughs. “Miss Lawlor, I’m fucking guy. I probably like cock more than you.”

  I look at him and laugh. This big, raging asshole is fucking gay? Well, that just broke down all my fucking assumptions. “So what did you mean?”

  “Can you help me get Tim to give me a fight in the meantime?”

  “I think he’s gonna be with Lucas,” I tell him.

  “Oh,” and something twitches in his face.

  “What?” I ask, because clearly that was not the answer he wanted or expected.

  “You know what Tim demands of his prized fighters, right?”

  “That they’re high and willing to kill?”

  “Yeah, well, that, and also he has some…fetishes.”

  “Wait – are you saying Tim is fucking Lucas?”

  “That’s what I’m saying.”

  I think of the day I came home to find Lucas sucking Tim’s dick. It was hot, but I assumed it was a one-time deal and Tim has fucked me twice nice – once in the ass – and he didn’t seem to prefer guys. Jealousy rages in me, even though I’ve been fucking around as well.

  “Not cool,” I say, and decide this weekend, before Lucas expects me, that I’ll go up to the motel where they’re staying and surprise him. “Wanna come talk to him yourself this weekend?”

  Kade nods. “Of course.”

  Fourteen

  Kade’s not the best company because he doesn’t communicate well. Mostly he grunts or talks about fighting, but I suppose it’s better than making the ride myself. We get to the motel and I see both Tim and Lucas’s cars. A surge of jealousy overwhelms me and I go to the door in front of Lucas’s car, banging on it hard. I hear voices and then the door flies open. Lucas is standing in the doorway, naked except for a towel.

  I push my way into the room, Kade following behind me, and I am not happy about what I see. On the bed, Tim is naked and there is porn on the TV. It’s some kind of anal thing, but what pisses me off the most are the two naked girls currently taking turns sucking Tim’s dick.

  “What the fuck is this?” I demand, pushing Lucas against the wall.

  “Tim hired a couple girls. We were just having some fun.”

  I glance around and see the mirror, rolled up bills, and remnants of coke on the table. Fucking assholes. “You expect me to quit stripping and you’re fucking hookers?”

  “Well, technically, I am not fucking anyone.”

  “Were you going to fuck the hookers?” I ask.

  He shrugs and drops his towel, as if his cock is going to make it all okay. My stupid pussy reacts immediately and tingles as soon as I see it, but no. Not that easy. “Why don’t you join us, babe? It will be fucking hot.”

  Kade’s still standing by the door, shooting daggers at Tim. Tim shrugs and props himself on his elbows. “I like that idea. Let’s have a fucking party.”

  Both Kade and I are pissed and I’m about to walk out when Lucas grabs me and kisses me, pushing his cock against my thigh. Damn him. The sounds of the movie on TV and the slurping of the hookers on Tim’s cock get me fucking hot.

  “Oh, what the hell? Why not?” I say.

  “You’re a dancer,” Tim says. “Give us a show.”

  I look at Kade and he shrugs. It’s fucked up, because he’s still at school, but it’s not like I’m corrupting him. He has a seat on the bed next to Tim and plays with Tim’s cock while the hookers both take breaks. They look like they’re fucking twenty at best. I think they’re twins, too. Of course.

  Lucas sits in the chair by the table and I lock the door, getting ready to dance. Tim turns the porno up, which is actually extremely hot and gets me wet. I’m used to dancing to music, but the sounds of people fucking are fucking unbelievable and my dancing is a lot more erotic. I touch myself as I dance and Tim smiles wide.

  “We are so all gonna fuck you hard, bitch.”

  I look to Lucas, thinking he might be jealous, but he’s jerking off and watching. He nods, as if the idea is the best fucking one he’s heard all day. I am so fucking sick of being used, I tell myself, but I don’t stop. What is wrong with me?

  Tim and Lucas are jerking off and the two hookers are making out. Kade watches the movie. I finish undressing and I’m standing naked in the room. Everyone except Lucas is on the bed, so I join them. The two hookers are on top of me like fucking jungle cats and one has her head buried in my pussy before I’m even lying down. She laps at my cunt and it’s fucking good. The other girl sits on top of me and plays with her tits.

  “Let’s have an orgy,” she suggests. And as if she suggested a poker game, suddenly I am surrounded by bodies. I don’t know who is eating my pussy and whose cock is in my mouth. Hands are roaming across my body and someone nibbles on my tits. Between the porn and the six of us, all you can hear is grunting, moaning, and sounds of pleasure. I come from someone’s tongue but before I even finish the wave, a cock is buried deep inside of me. I realize I was sucking Tim’s dick because he pulls out and I see Lucas fucking me at the end of the bed. He grins. He’s still standing up and Tim jumps down, getting behind Lucas and sliding into Lucas’s asshole. I come watching it, because it’s amazing. Tim leans down and helps Lucas guide his cock into my pussy.

  One of the girls takes my hands and has me finger her. The other girl is eating her pussy and Kade gets up to fuck Tim in the ass. Christ. The three guys thrust simultaneously and I wonder what will happen if they come together.

  I lose focus, though, because Lucas is fucking me hard and my cunt is so hungry for him. I scream his name and watch
the train of guys pump their cocks into the holes in front of them. I come with my fingers buried in a hooker’s pussy. It’s dirty and awful and I hate myself and it feels so fucking good.

  Lucas starts to come, which creates a chain reaction. As he blows his load into me, Tim finishes in his ass and then Kade finishes in Tim’s ass. There is so much hot cum dripping onto the floor, but the two girls are on top of it, licking up the guys’ legs and getting every last drop.

  “Now what?” Lucas asks.

  “There’s more?”

  Of course, I forget that none of them know how to stop and I just give in to being fucked all night. At some point, one of the girls, whose name is Mandi, breaks out a huge fucking glass dildo and slips it inside of me. I use it to make myself come while I watch her blow my boyfriend – if that’s what he is. He doesn’t come with her, though, so I feel a little better. I don’t mind watching him with the guys but I don’t want to share him with the girls – unless we’re all playing. He seems to read my mind.

  “Can I fuck you with that and fuck her with my cock?”

  I nod, because it’s hot and she kisses me while he slides inside her. Then he takes control of the dildo and fucks me hard with it.

  “Miss Lawlor, you are fucking everything I always dreamed you would be. I am so fucking happy I went to that club that night.”

  I wish Lucas was still a little of the guy I knew less than a year ago, but I’m starting to come to terms with the fucking world I have to face if I want to keep him in my life. He’s so sexy and I don’t want to lose him. I start to get sad, but the moment fades when he slams the dildo deep into my cunt and makes me scream. One of these days, we will have a real conversation and I will actually be able to figure out my feelings for him. For now, though, he fucks me into oblivion and I love every last fucking second of it.

  ****

  I’m pissed at Lucas when we wake up in the morning. Everyone else is gone, either to continue the party in Tim’s room or just gone, I guess. The porn is still playing and Lucas is already hard, so it just gets him rowdy.

  “Can we actually talk first?” I ask.

  He slides down my legs and smiles. “Talk away.”

  He goes to town on my pussy and I barely get a few sentences out before I’m begging for his cock. He’s only happy to please and turns me so that I’m on my hands and knees in front of him and he can fuck me from behind while we both watch the movie. The two guys on the screen are blowing one another now and I have to admit it’s so fucking hot. All that cock makes me desperate and when Lucas plunges into me, I love it. I feel him sliding in and out as I watch the guys on the TV lick along each other’s giant shafts. Lucas could easily make porn. His cock puts even these guys to shame and I’m happy it’s mine – at least mostly – as he tears my orgasm out of me.

  After we both come, however, I want to get serious. He’s messed up in crazy shit and I need him to stop. Tim nearly cost me my job, I’m humiliated since half the fucking school has seen me get fucking plowed, and Lucas is high more than he isn’t. Not to mention the dude he fucking stabbed in front of me. All in all, this is one fucked up situation and I wonder if there is any good way out of it without losing him altogether. Still, I remind myself he’s only nineteen and if there is any way he can change, it’s now.

  “I had two things to talk to you about,” I tell him.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can we get dressed and actually talk?”

  He nods and we do and then we turn off the porn. Lucas sits on the bed with me and I explain what happened with Kade, as well as the video from Tim, and try to encourage Lucas to look at solutions for getting out.

  “But you also want me to fight Kade?”

  “I’d rather Tim get behind Kade than you. I want you out, Lucas. I know it’s gonna be a struggle, especially with Tim not feeding you fucking drugs all the time, but don’t you want a normal life?”

  “It’s a little late for that,” he says sadly.

  “Look you have enough money for a while. You basically live with me as is, so we can sell your place and boost your savings.”

  “You want me to move in with you?”

  “I want a chance to make this a real thing. Not whatever crazy wild, drug crazed, sex romp it usually is. A real relationship. I still remember when you weren’t like this, you know.”

  “That was before.” I know he means Alea and I know he feels like he has nothing to live for, but she must be nearly eighteen now.

  “Lucas, Alea is almost an adult. What are you gonna do if she gets out and comes looking for you, only to see you like this?”

  He looks sad. “You think she’ll come for me?”

  “She might.”

  “Okay so what do I do?”

  “Well, you need to win this fight, obviously, since Tim isn’t gonna let you out of it. But then, you fight Kade and get him back in Tim’s good graces. From there, you can fade out – and that means totally cutting yourself off from him. No more drugs, no more sex parties. Nothing.”

  Lucas nods, and I feel myself sinking back into my real role. Now he just looks like that confused freshman who used to need help formatting a paper. The sex aside, Lucas is a good guy with a good heart and I need to get him out of this fucking lifestyle. It’s too fast and too crazy for someone like him. He’s gonna burn out within a year at this rate.

  We kiss a little and have quiet, calm sex before I leave, and I honestly think that things will be okay. Because I am a fucking idiot.

  Fifteen

  I’m nearly late for Lucas’s fight and I’m anxious. I don’t want to miss it and I definitely don’t want anything to happen if I’m not there. The guys he’s up against is about his size, but he looks mean. Still, at least there looks to be a fair fight.

  It starts and Lucas is ready out of the gate. He pounds his opponent and the other guy is a mess. He’s barely standing, with blood pooling at his feet, and I think he’s out in less than a minute. But then he rises, spits out loose tooth, and goes for Lucas. They show no mercy and I cringe every time Lucas gets hit. Still, this is so much better than the fight with Mike Ellis and it’s worth a ton of money, so I am feeling pretty good.

  Everything is falling into place and Lucas looks like he’s going to beat the guy in record time. And then the world falls apart. Because the guy reaches down and pulls out a switchblade. He runs the razor across Lucas’s throat and Lucas falls to the ground, blood pouring from his neck wound. I see it, but it doesn’t even seem real. It’s like watching something on TV and the whole audience must feel the same way because no one moves for a second. Then suddenly there is a roar. The money is given to the other guy and Lucas is left bleeding, dying. I run to him and he looks up at me. He can’t talk and I’m screaming.

  “Someone call an ambulance! Please!”

  At some point, Lucas is lifted to a stretcher and brought to a hospital. Somehow, I end up there, but I don’t even remember it. They’re doing surgery on him, but everyone keeps saying it’s nearly impossible that he survives. I drown out the voices, because it’s not impossible. Of course it isn’t. Minutes and hours tick by and I wait, but no one acknowledges me.

  Lucas is an asshole at times and he does stupid shit and I can’t control him, but I realize suddenly that I love him. I don’t know why or how, but I do. Because if he doesn’t make it, I don’t know what I will do. I need him to be okay. He has to be okay. I think of all the things we will never do, all the things he’ll never do. I wonder if I’m being blamed for letting him continue down this path, if I’m being punished for my night of regret with Mark. I would give up everything if Lucas would be okay, but time just keeps on ticking away.

  Finally, near dawn, a doctor comes out to find his next of kin. He doesn’t have any, so I stand in. I don’t know how to explain our relationship so I just say I’m his girlfriend.

  “Well, he lost a lot of blood. We managed to get him stitched up and he’s fairly stable for blood loss. However, he has to be real
ly careful, because the wound is deep and needs time to heal. He’s going to be fed intravenously for a while, until the skin starts to scar over.”

  I nod, trying to take it in, but all I really hear is that the doctor is talking about the future. As if Lucas is not dead.

  “He’s not dead,” I say.

  “No. However, there is something else.”

  I nod again.

  “He’s having a reaction to the sedatives. He tested positive for a lot of narcotics and we did our best to minimize reactions, but there were too many to avoid it altogether. The reaction he is having is rare and we had hoped it would not happen. However, there is a chance the mixing of the drugs could kill him, even though the wound was healed.”

  I sink back into the waiting room chair. I should have stopped him. When he was hurting that night and I called Tim, I could have instead changed the course of Lucas’s life. I don’t know to react and the doctor waits a minute, before telling me he will check on me in a bit and that when Lucas is ready for visitors, he will come get me.

  Why didn’t I fight harder? Why did I let him continue to be so fucking self destructive? If I had fixed it, if I had made him quit, he probably would not have even been at the fight and even if he had, he would be safe. Now he is stable but could die any second. Where is the fucking justice in that?

  I don’t call anyone and I don’t go to work. I don’t even call in. I just want Lucas to be okay. It’s after lunchtime before they tell me I can go see him. He’s barely conscious and covered in gauze. There are tubes everywhere and tears plummet from my face. How is this fair? Lucas may have made bad choices, but he’s not a bad person and this is so cruel.

  He can’t smile at me, but he reaches for my hand. I hold his hand and talk to him even if he can’t respond.

  “I’m so sorry, baby,” I tell him. “This is my fault. I should have tried harder. I should have reported Tim. I should have done something.”